Memories of Autumn
by EspoirDio
Summary: Takes place after Niles and CC's failed relationship and tells the story of how it all unravelled. Will there be hope for the future or not?
1. 8th October: Niles

__**So um...hey guys lol Remember me? I very timidly offer this story to you lol I've been working on it since October, because I love N/CC too much to simply stop writing about them and I simply cannot stop writing at all. So this is a kind of retrospective story...so expect a lot of introspection of the characters and thoughts about past events etc. It's the story of their break up , so yes it will probably be very sad at times. Doesn't mean the ending will be ;) Anyway, I don't want to give too much away and just hope you'll enjoy this. Please, please, please review!lol **

_Memories of Autumn_

8th October: Huntington Road, York

It was the beginning of another grey, dull autumn day to which Niles Brightmore awoke in the early hours of the 8th October. After years of service as a butler for the Sheffield family his body had grown accustomed to getting up early, a habit, it seemed, he was unlikely to break in the near future. He sighed a little and rolled on his back to follow the cracks in the ceiling with his eyes. 8th October: 3 years, 2 months and 5 days since his failed relationship with C.C. Babcock. He closed his eyes against the image of the beautiful blonde woman who had once been his. A morning that started off with her in his head could never end well, so much he had learned.

He sighed again and climbed out of bed, his bare feet meeting the tiled floor in a harsh tapping sound as he walked to the kitchen. It was cold but he simply could not afford to pay for the heating and pride prohibited him from contacting his former employer. No, he had made that decision and he was going to live with it. A slice of stale toast and some milk later, he was in the bathroom changing into previously worn clothes. His hand almost recoiled instantly when it met the stubble on his face, as if it was appalled to be confronted by it. He needed to shave, but finding the energy was just too hard. Instead he half-heartedly ran a comb through his hair, deciding to let the beard be for now, and left his flat. A tired groan escaped his lips as he climbed up the stairs to the main street, brushing the bushes that formed the border from the house to the pavement with his hands. The motion left tiny beads of water on his fingertips. The sudden cold was chilling and he pulled his coat tighter around himself, not allowing it to seep through to his bones.

He had wanted to go into town, maybe look for a job that would tie him over for the next few months and make winter bearable, but he only got as far as the end of the street. He knew that C.C.'s image was bound to come back and haunt him and it didn't fail to have the usual effect. He felt paralysed, not only in his ability to direct his thoughts to other things, but also in the simple things like walking. He didn't even notice that the small drizzle of rain had turned into a gentle downpour, as he sat down on the bench under a willow by the river that ran along his street.

Over the years he had felt her slipping away from him, like the marks she had left on his body until her image had become faint and faded. But this morning he had seen her again and was trying now to memorise the tiniest features of her face, lest she slip away from him again. It was as if the woman was linked to his sanity and insanity at the same time. She had been the one to drive him so utterly over the edge until he had fallen into the darkness of despair and yet she was the only way for him to arise again.

Blonde hair, small nose, beautiful cheek bones. He remembered tracing them with his fingertips. He could almost feel her skin still, a sensation so painful that it jolted him back into reality with an almighty force. Moisture was mingling with the rain on his cheeks. Shortly after their break-up he had suffered another heart attack, more severe than the first. He had always known that she would be the death of him. He had tried to stay in New York to recover, but her sudden care had felt like pity and he had grown to see that his life had amounted to nothing. No career, a failed relationship with the one woman he had loved for the majority of his life and no family. The return to England had been inevitable, not so much an escape as rather a plan B that he had always kept, just in case. But even the best laid plans could go awry, that much Niles had come to learn...


	2. 8th October: CC

__**Thanks for the reviews, guys!:) CC's part ;)**

8th October: Central Park, New York

For a moment all she could hear was the rustling of the wind in the trees. She shivered lightly; there was a moist cold in the air that chilled her to the bone.

"Better than the stuffiness of the theatre," she thought almost bitterly and then shook her head.

She'd have to explain later… C.C. Babcock was certainly known to blow up during working hours, but she definitely wasn't known to explode and then storm outside. She could still hear the bang of the doors as they hit the walls, making her escape known to everyone in the vicinity. In all the years since their separation this had never happened…a thought that rendered her completely helpless. Her control was slipping; he was wearing her down without even being there. Maybe there had been indicators of her meltdown; maybe she had simply missed them. The hectic work routine that allowed no time for breaks, one appointment after the other….she sighed, unsure if she wanted it otherwise. The very few times she had taken a vacation she had been unable to continue with it. She was lucky if she had made it through the first day. But soon after the silence had become too heavy ; her thoughts turning too easily to the past.

The Sheffields had a new butler, had hired him a year after Niles had left. He had a ridiculous name like Gustave or Greyson, either way C.C. had been unable to remember it. He was young and awfully chipper and most of the time got on her nerves. His food wasn't good either…well, Nanny Fine and Maxwell begged to differ, but then again they ate anything. She had spent most of her life being spoiled by Niles' wonderful culinary skills, so it wasn't surprising that everything else paled in comparison.

Kids were running around her, skipping happily into puddles, not even paying attention to the red leaves they so easily crunched under their boots. The sound kept distracting her, pulling her back to reality. She rubbed her face tiredly and sank down on a park bench, as far away from the children as possible. He had been invading her thoughts again for the past few weeks now…there was something about autumn that brought him back. She scraped her heel over the pavement in the same rhythm as her nail was scratching her skin. She didn't know how to make him disappear, that had always been her problem. He had annoyed her from the very first day, he had got close, he had tormented her, she had despised him, she had fought back and still in all this time she hadn't made him disappear. It was maddening. But she had sworn to herself not to waste any more time thinking about the man, not when it had been her decision to give up on them. He had called her foolish, she had called it realistic. But at the end of the day it had been her decision, they were over, he was gone.

In the distance she could faintly hear her career calling her back. How long had she been away? One hour? Two? She really had to find the energy to move again, to avoid having to explain even more. Work meant stress, but it also meant time away from Niles, so she had to move, it had to be done. She rose to her feet a bit shakily and with her ice cold hands wiped some leaves from her shoulder, wishing that the memories were so easy to wipe away too. But nothing was ever easy where he was concerned, that much she had learned over the years…


	3. 13th October: Niles

__**Thank you so much for your reviews!:) I really appreciate them and am happy to see that at least some of you are glad I returned!:) Here is Niles' next part! ;) R&R, please!:)**

13th October: Huntington Road, York

It had been raining for the past 5 days. He didn't even remember anymore what dry clothes felt like. Everything he owned was either crinkled, soaked, or drying. The air in his basement flat did nothing to help the situation. He had hoped for a dry day to hang them up outside but autumn was merciless when it came to that.

"Merciless like her," he thought almost bitterly.

He had been remembering more and more of her, all images linked to the day of their separation: Rigid posture, ice-cold eyes, mouth in a firm line. If he hadn't been so occupied with his own hurt and disappointment he might have registered the sadness hidden in the depth of her eyes or the helplessness expressed in the way she hugged herself. But he hadn't been in the right state to pay attention, too big had the gap been that had suddenly opened up before him. He had spent most of his life loving her, hoping she'd return his love...that she might not return it had always been something he had reckoned with...that they might separate once together, however, had never been part of the equation. So her announcement had quite literally knocked the air out of his lungs and made him feel dizzy for a life had always been intertwined with hers; there was no life without C.C. Babcock. But obviously he had been wrong; he was surviving without her after all, if this could be called living.

He took his pants from the cold radiator and felt them, they were still moist, but it had to do. Slipping out of his sweatpants that had become too big for him, he put them on, as well as a crinkled white dress-shirt, whose relation to Brooks Brothers could no longer be seen. Shoes, coat and off he went for another attempted job hunt. It was always interesting to see how far he'd get.

He passed the Rose and Crown, the pub that had once been his regular haunt, but resisted its pull for now. He marched through Monkgate, dodged the drizzle of tourists that were always frequenting the street on their way to the cathedral and took a left to reach his destination. Jimmy was already there, putting up the job announcements.

"Anything good today?" he asked, trying to plaster a smile on his face.

"Yes," Jimmy nodded and then took one look at the scruffy looking man before him and sighed "but not for you."

"Well, that's nice," Niles grumbled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't take it so hard", Jimmy clapped his shoulder "but no-one would believe now that you once belonged to the Butler's Association."

"You know about my situation," Niles replied defensively "I don't have the money to..." he gestured feebly.

"No, Niles...I think you're just really good at making excuses to stay in that rut you're in."

"I don't need to listen to this," Niles snapped tersely, turned his back on the man and started walking off.

He had already distanced himself quite a bit when he perceived Jimmy's voice. "Clara Smith needs a cleaner; it's not on the list. Consider it a personal favour!"

Niles nodded and with a wave of his hand indicated that he had heard him. Clara Smith was the oldest lady in York and with her 95 years the most disagreeable old dragon around. She was known to hire staff one week and dismiss them the next, when they so much as frowned at her. But she was also known to pay generously if she found someone to her liking.

He was still in a bad mood when the jingle of the bell at the Rose and crown announced his arrival.

"Niles," Gary the bartender exclaimed, moving his towel from one shoulder to the other "haven't seen you here in ages. Isn't quite the right time either yet, is it?"

Niles just gave a small smile and sank down on a barstool by the counter. "Return was inevitable," he muttered under his breath.

"Man, you look rough...are you sure that being here will help you?"

Niles shrugged helplessly.

"Didn't come here to drink, wouldn't have the money in anyway. Just needed a place to think that wasn't home." He explained quietly.

Gary nodded and wordlessly put a glass of water in front of him. "I'll let you be now, if you need anything else or just some company, I'll be in the back."

"I started dreaming about her again, Gary." Niles confessed in a whisper.

"Well, it is autumn..." he shrugged and spread his hands "I'd suggest you call her, but I know you won't."

Niles shrugged and sipped on his water. "Don't waste your breath then..."

Gary gave him a withering look and turned around again to retreat to the back of the pub.

"I got offered a job today." Niles added quietly.

"Then do yourself a favour and take it, if you ever want to get your life back on track again."

"I can't...it's a cleaning job, it could affect my health." Niles argued.

"I don't think you have much more to lose now, old man." And with that Gary left.

Niles nodded and swallowed. He had always somewhat prided himself in being a stubborn man; after all it had been among the traits he had used to win C.C. over. But maybe now his insistence that he wasn't well enough to work could be what stopped him from living. He caught his reflection in one of the glass bottles and closed his eyes instantly. He really looked like hell, he looked homeless. If C.C. would see him now she would probably crinkle her nose and drop some haughty remark. The image made him grin and then wince. The old C.C. would've reacted like that, his C.C. wouldn't. She would be worried but most of all disappointed that he had let himself go like that. He had never endured her disappointment well, even when she had still been pining over Maxwell.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered and emptied his water in one big gulp.

It was time to swallow down his pride, time to get back on track, move on and leave her in the past where she belonged.


	4. 13th October: CC

__**Yes...this is a sad story, I warned you at the beginning. Special shout-out to avagrace for reviewing so eagerly :) I'm glad you're enjoying it.**

13th October: Park Avenue, New York

She had been stuck at the theatre all day, putting cocky young actors back in their place and listening to the most heart-wrenching love songs ever written. West Side Story had always been a favourite of hers and would certainly have been a pleasure to produce, if it wasn't for the fact that all the songs were making her first soft and then bitter. They showed both the romantic side to love and the painful reality. All in all not a very good combination for someone struggling to keep her mind off her former lover.

Maxwell had appeared in the theatre at the end of the rehearsal, a fact that had annoyed her immensely, as she was certain he was only doing so to keep an eye on her and ensure she hadn't left mid-rehearsal again. And so she had stormed towards him, angry phrases about the length of their partnership and his faith in her on her lips. But then something unexpected had happened. Before she had even managed to speak, Maxwell had asked her to join them for dinner. And that was how C.C. now found herself at the Sheffields' dinner table, squeezed somewhere between the children and facing the nosy nanny. It had been quite some time since she had last eaten there; both because of her heavy workload and because the house held too many memories. Around her everyone was happily chatting, joking and catching up, while she sipped on her water and took the occasional bite from her food. The dinner carried on like that for several more minutes and C.C. began to wonder if Maxwell had merely been trying to rid himself of nanny induced guilt by asking her to join them.

"Are you quite finished, Miss Babcock?" the butler asked, already leaning forward to take her plate.

She simply nodded.

"You hardly ate a thing, didn't you like it?"

"Everything you prepare tastes bland." she commented, without looking up.

There was a moment of silence and she could feel all eyes on her.

"I'm sorry, I will remember to add more spice for you next time." came the polite reply.

C.C. closed her eyes, pinched the bridge of her nose and suppressed the urge to sigh. Not only had the butler taken no offense, he had also responded with a comment that, had it come from Niles would've started a new round of zingers. Slowly she rose to her feet and left the table wordlessly. She made it as far as the living room, where she poured herself a glass of Whiskey and sank down on the couch. But she wasn't alone for long, because the youngest Sheffield had followed. She hovered by the door for a moment, before squaring her shoulders and marching down to join her on the sofa.

"Miss Babcock, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," the word had slipped past her lips in a second, her standard reply.

It was as easily pulled out as the pen she always carried around to make notes. Niles had hated it and when she looked at young Gracie now she could find a similar distaste in her eyes.

_"You never trust anyone, that is your greatest flaw,"_ he had said to her once _"but let me tell you this, Babcock, you can't go through life trusting no-one." _

She risked another glance at the girl who hadn't moved one inch since she had spoken last, the girl who so reminded her of Sara.

"That's not true," she finally said and noticed instantly that the girl visibly softened.

Maybe Niles and she had never worked out, because she had never trusted them to begin with. It had always just seemed to her that all odds were against them, that they could only lose. His seemingly carelessness had angered her then, as did the fact that he so eagerly pointed out her distrust. Nothing bad ever seemed to occur to him, or maybe he was just better at hiding it. The love expressed in his unwavering trust should have calmed her, but it did quite the opposite. After all, was it easier to fail when suspecting nothing but goodness, or when only fearing the bad? She couldn't let go of her doubts, not when they prepared her for the inevitable... C.C. Babcock hated not being in control and trusting a man wholeheartedly whose actions she wasn't able to predict in an everyday context was almost impossible. The trouble was that she had trusted him more than any other man in her life, but even if he had realised that, it wouldn't have been enough. So maybe if she didn't even make him see, she was simply destined to be alone.

"Miss Babcock?" Grace asked and interrupted her thoughts, reminding her that she had started to speak and then suddenly stopped again.

"Sorry..." she sighed and gave her a brief apologetic smile "my mind was somewhere else."

"That happens a lot lately, doesn't it?" Grace asked carefully.

"Mmh?" "Well, you were barely present at dinner and I heard the speech daddy gave you for storming out the theatre a few days ago. What's been bothering you?"

C.C. opened her mouth, ready to confess the name of the one person that had always bothered her and was likely to do so until she died, but then she merely sighed.

"It's nice of you to pay attention and I appreciate your concern," she said formally "but I prefer not to discuss this."

Grace was nothing but a young, albeit perceptive girl, she wasn't Sara. And really, C.C. rationalised, the last thing she needed were more people from her past. It was time to move on...


	5. 18th October: Niles

__**As ****always kudos to avagrace for giving me one review at least, my only motivation for updating really lol And to CCandNiles4ever whose reviews are also very kind.**

18th October: Coney Street, York

It was so late in the evening that the street lamp lights had been switched on. For five minutes now he had been engulfed by blissful silence, the clatter of dishes in the kitchen had subsided and the butlers had withdrawn to their own quarters. He released a sigh that cut through the silence: alone at last and still he felt like an intruder.

He had spent most of the day in the Smith household, trying to make a good first impression. Not that it had gone all too well, for Clara's first words had been:

"John, we have a beggar in the house!"

It had taken the butler about half an hour to convince the lady that the "beggar" was in fact the new cleaner.

"He can hardly clean himself up."she then had commented, before asking the butler to push her wheelchair into the dining room.

Niles had looked after them with almost wistful recollection, if he hadn't slipped up so badly, it would've been him pushing the chair. He sighed again and rubbed his face. How could it have come so far that he was envious because he wasn't allowed to look after some mean old dragon?

"One is enough to last me a lifetime," he muttered into the silence and felt the familiar combination of amusement and pain at the thought of her reaction.

In any way he had soon come to learn that the members of staff formed a union, they had their own routines and rhythms. He was the unwanted new addition, the factor they could not account for. So knowing this Niles had made an effort to keep out of their way, had faded as well into the background as he had managed at the Sheffields', and merely observed. His cleaning uniform was white, complete with a white cap, that matted his hair and made him look ridiculous.

He moved through the house as quietly as he could, creating soft sounds with his feather duster on the wood, eerie and fleeting like a ghost. It was ridiculous; really, how big the house was Clara Smith lived in. Not only did she have no contact to family members, but she also insisted at her age not to be moved to a home or clinic, where she could've received the proper care, but instead chose to fade away and deteriorate on her own.

While mopping the last corridor for the night, Niles couldn't help but compare Clara to C.C. Would she, too, choose to die alone by using her wealth to pay for home service? For a moment he was struck by the image of C.C., old and greying, her beautiful skin crinkled and sickly looking, her eyes cold and bitter. He couldn't bear it. He had, of course, thought of them growing old together, had imagined how beautiful she'd still look, even once her golden hair had turned silver, had heard her wisecracks about his saggy butt and had seen the lingering sparkle in her light-blue eyes. He could not bear to see it diminished, preferred seeing her in the arms of another man, rather than alone.

The clock was chiming one when he put his uniform away and left the silent mansion. His shoes clapped noisily against the cobble stoned street, that was slick from rain. The people he had seen parading through the city a few hours ago had sought shelter in the many pubs and clubs York had to offer. The wind was almost soft and warming on that particular night and still Niles wrapped his light coat tighter around himself.

Fran had told him a few years ago that C.C. had threatened to come back and haunt him should she die, and now he was beginning to wonder if there had been some truth to her words. She hadn't died, not physically at least, but there had been a separation and still she was accompanying him like a shadow, maybe to repay him for the pain he had caused her in the past. So maybe he was destined never to move on, maybe he should accept that he would never be free of her entirely...


	6. 18th October: CC

**And update time. Thanks for the other people who reviewed this time too :) it really makes this much more enjoyable for me lol This is sort of just a filler, more is gonna happen soon ;)**

18th October: Rainbow Room, New York

She was in hell; there was no doubt about it. Up in the Rainbow Room, stories and stories above the glistening street lights of New York City, she should've felt closer to heaven, but no such luck. It was late at night on this particular 18th October and while she should've been comfortably resting on a couch in the silence of her penthouse, she was instead trapped in a cloud of loud noise only a Fine family do could bring. As a matter of fact it was Fran's and Maxwell's wedding anniversary, an occasion that was celebrated lavishly each year, almost as if the former Nanny and proud mother of twins could not believe her luck still.

C.C. had been keeping herself occupied for quite some time, watching the few members of Maxwell's family in attendance awkwardly mingling with the Fines. Their obvious discomfort even on the 3rd anniversary was rather amusing, though C.C. did find it quite remarkable how two people from such different backgrounds and upbringings could live so happily together. She, herself, was no stranger to the negative effects of family involvement that made a successful relationship almost impossible. In her opinion, one that she didn't dare voice, of course, Sara had been a much better fit in so many ways and there was no doubt on her mind that her and Maxwell would still be together, if she hadn't tragically lost her life at such a young age.

She had hoped that Niles would call, had almost never left Maxwell's side in fear of missing it. But in retrospect it didn't really surprise her either that he hadn't called. After all, Fran's and Maxwell's wedding had somewhat sealed their fate, he had realised then what she'd been trying to show him all along. They had already been separated for two months then, but Niles hadn't given up until the day of the wedding, he had seen the truth then and stopped. He had suffered his second heart attack five days later.

Her dark thoughts were momentarily interrupted when Maxwell stood up and lightly clinked his spoon against his wine glass.

"At least he learned from the previous years," she muttered quietly, causing the youngest Sheffield to grin broadly in remembrance.

In the past two years Fran had managed to destroy more glasses with several items of cutlery, than comedians in a lifetime.

"Today we celebrate the 3rd anniversary of my marriage to my darling wife." Fran smiled, cupped his face and gave him a brief kiss. "So we'd like to ask all of you to join us on the dance floor and celebrate this happy occasion with us."

There was a brief pause while several couples shuffled onto the dance floor, then the conductor started swinging his baton and the band began to play. It was a Streisand song, of course, Fran had chosen it, but one that not only bore memories for her and Maxwell, it seemed, but also for C.C. In some ironic and rather cruel twist of fate her and Niles had been dancing to "His is the only music that makes me dance" on their very first official date. So with every line of the song C.C. relived scenes of the evening. She managed to endure this heart-wrenching moment for a grand total of one minute, before she stood up and went outside on the balcony.

"Miss Babcock?"

She should've known that the girl would follow her again.

"The party's still going on, why don't you go back inside?" she asked snidely, even though she had tried to sound calm.

"Because something upset you a moment ago...was it the song? Did it remind you of-"

"He's gone..." C.C. said firmly.

"He'll never be entirely..." Grace voiced softly and with that left C.C. to her own thoughts.


	7. 25th October: Niles

__**Thanks for your reviews, guys. With the next chapter the memories properly start. I'll try to get it to you on Thursday before I leave to stay with a friend for a few days ;) **

25th October: Cathedral Square, York

There were hundreds of tourists surrounding them, of that he was sure. York cathedral was the most imposing building of them all, one of the largest Gothic buildings in Europe and the reason why so many people chose to visit the city. Sitting there, drowning in the masses, caught somewhere between old and new Niles had decided to face his ghosts. They may not have been ones of the poltergeist kind that could be seen in several shop windows so shortly before Halloween, but they were terrifying nonetheless.

With a hint of amusement he remembered the first time he had seen her as a blonde. She'd always been brunette to him, brunette with big glasses and wallflower clothes, since the first day she had arrived at the Sheffields. She had looked the role of the mousy secretary, more so than the haughty heiress she really was. He didn't know what had made her change her appearance so drastically, he just remembered that he had first seen it at the big Halloween Ball Sara's parents gave annually.

"I know it's a saying that gentlemen prefer blondes, Babs," he had quipped "but looking like that won't get you more men either."

She had looked surprised at him, then almost offended.

"This is not a costume, Butler Boy, Babcocks do not wear ridiculous costumes!" she had haughtily replied.

"You mean you _really_ look like that?" he had exclaimed, feigning shock.

She was just too easy sometimes. But the truth was that she was breath-taking. He had always considered her attractive, even as the mousy secretary, there had always been something about her demanding his attention. But now she was demanding everyone's attention. Her hair was dyed blonde and cut short, emphasising her sharp jaw line and cheekbones, her sparkling blue eyes were no longer hidden behind black-rimmed glasses and the pencil skirt and blouse combination she wore certainly hugged her figure exquisitely.

He sighed and closed his eyes, wondering why he was torturing himself with her perfection. Maybe to remind himself that she had always been out of reach...that maybe not so much had changed.

He was beginning to look healthier again even though nothing much had changed. But maybe all he had needed was the strength to face his past, to stop running for a moment. He certainly wasn't expecting things to miraculously sort themselves out, but he was hoping for some peace of mind. Nonetheless, the burgundy woollen sweater was still too big for him but at least it kept him warm.

An icy chill had come to York, frost covered the grass every morning. He wondered what it was like in New York if it was warmer or colder, if she was warm enough, if she worked too much. It was quite pitiful, really, how much he still cared for the woman who had broken him so, who in all likelihood was not wasting a single thought on him. He stood up slowly and wiped the pasty crumbs off his pants, lunch break was officially over and he had got nowhere. It seemed to him that he couldn't confront all of his memories at the same time, he needed to take it slowly, if he didn't want to break down completely again. One step at a time.

It didn't take him long to reach Coney Street and with great reluctance he slipped into Clara Smith's mansion via the backdoor. Once a servant, always a servant. If only she'd been there to greet him with a zinger...


	8. 25th October: CC

**Hello, Hello. Maybe this will earn one or two more reviews seeing as more is actually happening now lol I mean I know it's rather obvious but perhaps you're beginning to see now the pressure this relationship was under. Obviously one thing isn't enough to make a whole relationship collapse.I'll post the next update on Sunday when I'm back ;) leave me something to look forward to, please. :)**

25th October: Babcock Estate, New Hampshire 

She didn't know what her mother's intentions were behind the family dinner she had been invited to. C.C. hadn't attended such an event for years, nor could she remember one taking place. The Babcocks were not a family, so why have family dinners? The only ones C.C. did remember had taken place in her childhood, lavish feasts to convince the gossiping neighbours that everything was perfectly fine in this family.

Her heels clicked loudly on the marble floor, announcing her arrival far too eagerly. She passed beautiful statues of Greek gods, all perfect and yet made of stone, much like the people inhabiting this house; before she reached the dining room and the plush carpet muffled her steps.

"C.C., you look positively radiant!" she was greeted by her younger sister D.D., who practically flew into her arms, before pressing a light kiss to each of her cheeks.

She merely nodded and returned the hollow pleasantries.

"Chastity," her mother was next, repeating her sister's gesture.

"Mommy," C.C. sighed and then strode across the room to her brother, the only person she had really wanted to see.

"Are you eating alright?" he murmured quietly into her ear, while enveloping her in a firm embrace.

She squeezed him once and then gave him a half nod and weak smile. It was the wrong place to discuss matters, but knowing that he cared was help enough. He knew, of course, what had transpired between her and Niles 3 years ago, yet his worry did not quite annoy her as much as the little Sheffield's one. Maybe it was because he didn't nag her to talk, because he showed concern but never pressed her.

"Well, there is no sense in standing around here any longer," her mother suddenly announced "sit, sit!"

C.C. managed to pay attention to the mundane conversation at the table during the starter, but by the time they reached the main course she had already succumbed to her own thoughts. It wasn't surprising that Niles had never felt welcome in this house, the differences were too strong. But C.C. now realised that it wasn't simply a question of class, it was a question of upbringing and personalities too. She didn't know anymore now how she had expected a man like Niles to survive in such a chilling environment. Behind his posh talk and appreciation for the finer things in life, still lay a gentle and warm-hearted soul. He wasn't used to the big celebrations, the decadence or the champagne in which the Babcocks bathed day in and out. He was natural and kind, happy with a book in his lap or a movie on TV. The clash had been long since coming, she had just closed her eyes against it for too long. How could she not have fully grasped the pressure under which he was? She bit her lip until she drew blood and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"C.C., are you ok?" her sister instantly asked.

"Yes, just a little headache." She smiled back, earning a nod from her mother.

"Menopause does that to women."

For a moment her body went rigid, but then Noel squeezed her leg and she gradually relaxed again.

_"Why can't you understand what it feels like for me?"_ Niles had questioned, so many times.

_"Because you're being ridiculous!" _

_"Am I? How would you feel knowing you'll never be accepted, seeing how they look at you and how they gossip?"_ he had challenged.

_"Why does it even matter to you? You're in this relationship with me, not with them!"_

There had been a momentary silence, in which he had merely raised an eyebrow.

_"Think about that statement again, C.C..."_

But she had been too angry to recognise his resignation. _"So? You knew from the beginning what it would be like, you knew that it wouldn't be easy, but did it stop you?" _

_"I still couldn't believe you actually loved me, C.C., and you know that. I would've said anything to keep you." _he replied slowly_. _

_"Maybe it's time you let me go then..."_

They had had several arguments like that, she had lost track over the years. But the fact remained that one didn't choose ones family, but one could choose ones friends and partners. But looking up now at her relatives C.C. felt that she had drawn nothing but a consolation prize.

"So C.C., is there any new man in your life?" D.D. suddenly asked, smiling sweetly.

"Maybe a new servant Maxwell has employed?" her mother added.

"No...no new man..." she forced herself to remain calm.

"Thank God that that time is over!" her mother announced joyfully "All of us Babcocks go through it, of course, there is a certain appeal to the working class man but...it's never serious."

C.C. was on her feet before she knew it and had left the room before she could lose control altogether. They didn't know about the plans her and Niles had made...they just didn't know...

A few hours later she found herself in the safety of her penthouse, but the fact remained that it was empty and she would've given anything to be greeted by one of his zingers.


	9. 2nd November: Niles

**And I've returned so here is your update. This chapter is M rated for one of Niles' memories, you'll notice. :p I hope you will enjoy this. Let me know! :)**

2nd November: Navigation Road, York

November came with a sudden chill in the weather. Clouds were drawn across the sky, letting the sun struggle to shine through. The leaves that crunched beneath his feet were wet, bearing marks of the melted frost. Winter was rapidly approaching. His shirt had shrunk in the wash so whenever he set one foot in front of the next, it rode up high offering his skin to the ice cold wind. Memories stirred effortlessly until the sensations of his body matched the pictures in his head.

It had been their first Christmas together, the first Christmas after Niles' heart attack. The warmth in the Sheffield kitchen had been almost unbearable, little clouds of steam were emanating from the slightly ajar oven door in which he was baking delicious pies. He himself smelled of cinnamon, honey and caramel, of Christmas as the children had liked to put it when they were little. The top few buttons of his shirt were undone, his tie had been discarded long ago and still little beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. The sudden light breeze announced someone's arrival but Niles didn't have time to look, instead he kept stirring the sauce. Long, slender fingers found their way to his skin, leaving cool marks just above his hips that made him shiver with cold and anticipation alike.

"Beware the return of the ice queen" he had drawled dryly.

"It is cold outside, Butler Boy," she had chuckled, never taking her hands off him "not that you'd notice any of that here in the seventh circle of hell."

"Now Babcock, you're getting things mixed up again. At Christmas we celebrate the birth of our Lord, not yours." He grinned and turned around to face her.

For a second her eyes sparkled with mischief before she suddenly turned serious.

"You shouldn't work like that," her tone was quiet but intense "you're still recovering."

And she had pressed her cool hand to his forehead.

"A bit of cooking will certainly not kill me, Babs." he joked lightly, but she still wasn't ready for it.

"Don't!" her tone was sharp and a second later her lips were crushed against his.

She had been like that since he had suffered his heart attack, always worrying, never quite the same again. He tried to calm her, take her concern away as best as he could, but still he failed sometimes.

* * *

><p>On Christmas Eve they were sitting together before her fireplace, cups and plates lay strewn across the floor. She was sitting between his legs, leaning against his chest and he had his arms securely wrapped around her.<p>

"Told you Christmas isn't that bad, Scrooge." he whispered against her neck and felt her shiver in remained silent, however, and he was beginning to wonder what had her so occupied. "Babcock?" he asked softly and lifted her hair up a little to press a kiss against her neck.

Slowly she turned to face him, her eyes were dancing, and leaned forward to capture his lips gently. He smiled instantly and returned the kiss, pressing her carefully down on the carpeted floor. She only wore his shirt, an item that was quickly discarded as he hovered over her, still fully clothed.

"Are you-?" she started, but he devoured her words in a second.

His lips travelled down her throat and to her collarbones, before they found the area his hands were already occupying. Her breasts were soft and round and he took great pleasure in twirling first his finger and then his tongue around her nipples and watching them stiffen. She sighed, softly, deliciously and arched her back to offer more of herself. He allowed his fingers to tease her a little bit longer, while his mouth wandered down the smoothness of her stomach. She exhaled shakily now and grasped at his shoulders a bit, but still he continued south, hooking his fingers in her panties and pulling them down. He could smell her need, feel his arousal growing and wasted no time in lowering his mouth to her core. He tasted her hungrily, felt her length and then gently sucked on her clit. The moan that slipped past her lips left him trembling with desire. He continued this assault on her senses, until she was writhing on the plush carpet, her head tilted back, mouth agape and eyes closed. His name shattered the silence when she reached her peak and released herself on him. He hummed deeply and then gathered her in his arms and kissed her languidly. She was glowing, with pleasure and love alike, her face beautifully flushed. After a momentary pause her hands frantically travelled his body, removing each item of clothing they encountered until he was naked too.

"Love me," she whispered and he complied.

Their rhythm was slow and gentle and the light of the fire danced across the muscles in his back as he moved. Slowly she came again and he followed suit, cradling her against his chest and holding her as close as he possibly could.

It had been too long since he had last felt her and he was beginning to crave her badly...


	10. 2nd November: CC

__**And update time. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review, I'm thrilled to hear from you. :) Tiny M warning again but even less so than the last chapter ;) Next update on Saturday. Enjoy!**

2nd November: Park Avenue, New York

The phone had been ringing non-stop the whole day again but she hadn't moved an inch. Over a week had passed since her sudden departure at her mother's estate and not a day had gone by without the incessant ringing of the phone. Her answering machine had suffered so much abuse that it could hold no more messages. C.C. was sitting, cloaked in a soft blanket on her couch, toying with a glass of Scotch in her hand. _To hell with them all._ The sentence that had become her mantra over the past few days.

She knew that somewhere between D.D.'s fake concern, her mother's threats and Maxwell's questions as to her whereabouts, Noel's calm voice was buried, but she didn't care for even that yet. She didn't care about anything. _To hell with them all. _Her eyes momentarily lingered on the muted TV screen where a formally dressed woman was announcing the news.

2nd of November...she sighed...could it really be November already? Her eyes darted outside, to the beautiful view her penthouse held, but today all she could see were bare trees. A breeze of wind tore harshly at the branches and sent even the last few leaves that had been desperately clinging on flying to the ground. A sea of yellow and red, a carpet for the people. _Remember, remember the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot. _It was almost time, time for the fireworks. Wherever he was in England, she knew he'd see them. Would he remember as well?

"Remember, remember the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder, treason should ever be forgot..." his soft baritone had whispered into her ear.

She had been sitting on the couch of the old English cottage in which his mother and father resided, a stack of contracts propped up against her knees.

"What are you babbling about?" she had asked, her tone laced with annoyance, annoyance solely directed at herself.

They had taking this little vacation to help Niles' recovery but she had taken a pile of work with her, determined not to waste time. Yet somehow between family time and exploring England, not to mention the countless minutes that had slipped past in the safety of his arms, time had escaped her. Suffice to say, no work had been accomplished.

"Guy Fawkes Day," he explained patiently "it's today. You know the bloke who tried to blow up the Parliament in the 17th century? "

"Mmh," she nodded and gave reading the contract one last chance.

"Well, it's today..." Niles repeated, giving her a meaningful look.

"And?" she questioned, growing considerably annoyed with him too by now.

"There are bonfires and fireworks!" he exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, his eyes shining with excitement.

"Oh, I didn't know that," she chuckled now, unable to hide her amusement at his behaviour "so I'm guessing you want us to go?"

"No," he shook his head and the mischievous smile on his face grew "we'll make our own."

"You bought rockets?" she asked, frowning lightly.

"Work with me here, Babcock..." he sighed and tilted his head to kiss her neck softly "we always make our own fireworks..."

"Well, we'll see how long it'll last." she chuckled, trying to resist the effect his kisses had on her already.

"Always, Babcock, always...because we have a certain chemistry..." he grinned and hit a spot below her earlobe with the tip of his tongue.

She moaned softly and nuzzled him in response.

"You're being corny," she tried to argue, but knew she had already lost.

Because he was right, every time he touched her she felt that certain spark that other men had been lacking. That night they made love by the window, a hundred rockets illuminating the night sky above them.

She would give anything now to prove to him that he had been right; that her body would still react to his...that she still craved his touch...


	11. 11th November: Niles

__**And the next update. I hope you're still vaguely enjoying this and thanks for the reviews. I'll be back on Tuesday :) **

11th November: Huntington Road, York

His head was pounding; his skull was throbbing at so many places he was feeling nauseous all over. The air in his flat was cold and still he was sitting on his bed, his shirt wide open. He ran a hand over his chest, rubbing it absent-mindedly. The weather had started taking its toll on him. Often when he went to work in the mornings or left work in the middle of the night, the cold had seeped through his clothes and with no warm flat to return to, it had permanently stayed there.

But his job also came with advantages. Money, if also it hadn't come in floods, had finally been present again and some of it passed on to his landlord hat at least resulted in a warm shower. Now if only the heating in his flat could come back on too...He shivered softly and wiped some sweat from his chest. He most certainly wasn't well...He coughed deeply, grimacing in pain as both his chest and his head hurt. The dilemma now was that he was nowhere well enough to work, yet he knew that Clara Smith did not approve of sick days. So in fear of losing his position and essentially slipping back into the darkness of resignation, he had no choice. So he buttoned up his shirt again and pushed himself out of bed. The air was cold and wet and he was instantly surrounded by a thin film of mist when he left the flat. He coughed again and rubbed his chest while walking. This was going to be a long day...

A few years ago, a time that now seemed an eternity; he had been feeling just as bad. He had been rollerblading through Central Park when he had suddenly felt his chest constrict painfully. Gasping a little in pain he had bladed to the next tree and steadied himself there while trying to catch his breath. Slowly the pain subsided but the worry remained with him. Feebly he tried to persuade himself that he was simply short of breath because of his age, that it was perfectly normal to feel as worn out as he had done for the past few days. And after all, Mr Sheffield, Miss Fine and her friend Val and especially C.C. had been teasing him about his recent weight gain, so maybe his exhaustion came from the effort to fight obesity. With that thought in mind he had pushed himself away from the tree and rollerbladed home. And for a short duration of time he had felt better, but not for long...

Two days later during a sparring match with C.C. his chest had suddenly constricted painfully again and he had experienced a strange tingling in his wrists. C.C., seeing that he was lacking a zinger, had set him up again. He still remembered trying to laugh, but his face felt cold and numb, turning even the tiniest smile into a horrible grimace. He had only mouthed her name before the forces of gravity had harshly pulled him to the floor.

"Niles? Talk to me, please." she had whispered and he had desperately tried to open his eyes.

Why was he in her arms?

"C..." he had tried again, but eventually her light-blue eyes filled with worry had disappeared and darkness had enveloped him once more.

Two heart-attacks later Niles hoped that it was merely a cold he was now dealing with, because he instinctively knew he wouldn't survive a third, not when there was nothing left fighting for anymore...


	12. 11th November: CC

**Hello, Hello. Well, first of all a big huge thank you to samanddianefan and lynnylou who caught up on the story and actually took the time to review each and every chapter. Wow!Thanks!Then of course to the rest of you who are also reviewing ;) Now you'll get an insight into how NIles and CC got together back then. Next update on Friday ;)**

11th November: Park Avenue, New York

Another glass of Whiskey and another, until her stomach ached in protest and the only taste left lingering on her tongue was that of the strong alcohol. She didn't know how long she had sat there just staring at the opposite side of the room. But she was almost certain that it appeared longer than it had really been. Time had come to a crashing halt with his departure and now every minute felt like a small eternity. And still she was waiting, tired of waiting for him yet constantly doing it. She even sometimes still caught herself jumping to her feet at the sound of the phone, hoping to hear from him, like a puppy that had been trained to lie in waiting for its owner.

C.C. Babcock could have been by all means a free woman, but she'd never be free of him. Another sip, another burning sensation later and she became aware of the irony. It was funny really how she had ended their relationship and was now the one who couldn't move on, who was still expecting his return. Ironic that she'd be the one waiting for him now, when it had always been him waiting for her.

_"I'm tired of waiting for you, C.C..." _his voice had been so soft and quiet, his eyes so empty.

_"Well, I'm sorry, but unlike you I have a business to run, I have rehearsals to attend. You know how tight my schedule is! Now the last thing I need from you is criticism! You were supposed to back me up! If you can't get over your lot in life and have sunk so low that you can't stop moping around the house then maybe it's better if you go back and live with the Sheffields! I cannot stand your petty jealousy any longer!"_

He looked as if she had struck him. With the slow movements of a tired old man he had risen to his feet and walked to the door.

_"I wasn't just talking about business," _he quietly explained, barely facing her "_I was talking about this too...all the rules that you have learned since your birth, all the comments your family and friends constantly make and how they upset you... I'm tired of waiting for you to choose your priorities." _

If he also felt so empty inside? She swallowed and shook her head. She had been a mean and bad person for most of her life, but for this she had to wish him happiness. Not out of selflessness, of course, for C.C. wasn't an entirely changed person, but because she knew how ill it would make him if he wasn't happy and that was a thought she simply could not endure. "Not another heart attack..."

_"Hey Butler Boy, what's with the ridiculous hair?"_ she had teased him through her tears.

After he had been admitted to the hospital she had spent the day at home, completely restless. It was this restlessness which had brought her back to his side in the middle of the night. The silence that greeted her, the never ending gap where a return zinger should have been, scared her deeply. She was seconds away from falling apart and knew it, but held on for his sake.

_"Whatever possessed you to dye it that ridiculous colour, I'm sure Nanny Fine will change it back to normal in no time."_ She continued, squeezing his cold hand that was wedged between hers.

She continued to sit like this for hours, until her back and neck were aching and stiff. Only then did she gently set his hand down on the bed again, kick off her heels and curled up on the armchair by his side. She continued her vigilance until the beginning of the next day.

_"I'm going to wait for you, Niles,_" she softly told him over and over again "_I'm not going to go away_."

Only on the second day he heard her, slowly blinking open his heavy lids. She could see him struggling to say her name but merely nodded and smiled and placed a kiss on his knuckles. There had been no great confession of love, no long explanation, just a gesture. Out of all the people that could've been by his beside, it was her. Her face pale and tear-streaked but the determination still strong in her eyes. It hadn't taken more than this... and that was how C.C. knew that he wouldn't make it again. She wasn't there to remind him that life was worth fighting for...


	13. 29th November: Niles

**Hello, Hello :) Thanks for the reviews, you guys :) Well, on with the story :) I'll try to update again Monday but negs is coming to stay with me for a week and I'll show her my hometown etc. so might be too busy or forget ;) I'll try to remember though. Leave some reviews, please!:) **

29th November: Huntington Road, York

His weeks consisted of a steady up and down. While his health had steadily increased again, his mental stability was prone to ground-breaking changes. He tried to keep himself as busy as possible, which was increasingly hard in the cold weather that didn't allow room for much outdoor activity.

He had made it a habit to stroll through the city on a Saturday afternoon to bask in the feeling of belonging to a crowd, a tradition that had been broken the moment the Christmas market had set up in town. Cloaked warmly into a beige sweater and winter coat, the hood drawn up to shield him against the wind, the bright lights and decorations had successfully escaped his sight. So it was only when the cheerful Christmas music reached his ears that he noticed the market stands and children's rides build up in the main square of the city centre. He had stopped dead in his tracks, momentarily stunned by the image of the happy couples and gently bickering families in front of him. A second later he had fled back to the solitude of his flat.

He didn't need Christmas, he wasn't prepared for it , it was nothing but a bright shining reminder of what he'd lost. An image of C.C. – a few years old- had pierced his heart. Nothing special, just her body frozen in space as her head had turned in his direction, giving him the most brilliant smile, as her fingers pushed her hair behind her ear, showing off the new earrings he had bought her. He had finally managed to make her love Christmas and now they were both alone once more. But still, after all these years, he felt that he belonged to no-one else but her...

_It had been a cold day in November when they had had their first fight. A silly squabble, by all means, born from the desire to spend more time together, a task that had always eluded them both in the past month with his duties and her long hours at the theatre. Slowly the argument had increased in intensity until C.C. had stormed out and Niles had joined some friends who were in town for a drink. _

_"Niles, good to see you're alive, mate!" John had chuckled and clapped him on the back. _

_"Yeah, are you alright?" Janet joined in, eyeing him almost worriedly. _

_He frowned at them both, unable to understand their concern when he had been at his most happiest for the past few months. _

_"Haven't heard from you in ages! The Missus been keeping you busy?" _

_Niles nodded and shrugged and proceeded to the bar where he ordered himself a large Whiskey.  
>Their dinner continued in familiar small-talk and reminiscing that was nice at best but certainly not pleasing. Soon the conversation drifted back to their respective partners and Niles found himself confronted by the question what had attracted him to C.C. in the first place. He bought himself some time, sipping on his drink first. How could he answer such a seemingly simple question? It didn't feel as easy as it had done in all his other relationships. It was a sensation he couldn't possibly describe, but one that C.C. and him had a mutual understanding over. Despite their bickering and fights he felt at home with her, he felt warmth and deep understanding which he received from no-one else. Having been reminded of that again, he had excused himself and hailed a cab to her penthouse. <em>

_"I thought you were having drinks with your friends?" she voiced wearily. _

_He smiled at her, already dressed in sweats, black-rimmed reading glasses on her nose and took her hands. _

_"I came to continue the argument," he winked. _


	14. 29th November: CC

__**Hello, Hello guys. Well, I just managed to remember posting this lol before we're leaving the house. It's only a small chapter, I'm afraid, with not so much substance but we're onto December next so stay tuned ;) Leave me a review, please, I'll be back on Thursday! :)**

29th November: Rainbow Room, New York

After having spent quite a lot of time secluded from the world, C.C. had been buried under a pile of work since her reappearance. She couldn't really blame Maxwell for the huge lecture he had given her upon her return. She had silently sat through it, neither defending her actions, nor offering any form of explanation as to her disappearance. It had finally been the former Nanny who had released her from Maxwell's wrath. In a rather uncharacteristic move the brunette had placed a hand on her husband's shoulder and whispered something into his ear. C.C. hadn't perceived her words but whatever it was it seemed to be effective, as Maxwell simply nodded and went silent. After as long pause he had finally quietly told her what he expected her to do. The list of tasks was long and seemed never-ending, but C.C. steadily worked through it without voicing a complaint. She knew that any other employer wouldn't have hesitated to fire her and she was glad for the chance she had been given.

The last thing on the list was the huge backer's party she was currently attending. Numerous couples had been squished into the ballroom, bumping into each other unceremoniously as they tried to manoeuvre their way around the room. She was standing by the door, a half empty glass of Martini in her hand, busy scanning the crowd in an attempt to spot the least slimy backer.

She had just set one foot into the room, when she felt a hand on her lower back, dangerously close to her butt. She froze on the spot and turned her head, ready to throw her drink at the impudent man, when she recognised him as Sean Jefferson, one of the wealthiest backers in New York City. So instead of making use of her drink, she plastered a smile on her face, turned and pecked his cheek.

"The lovely Miss Babcock all alone," he greeted.

His words stung, as did any mention of her relationship status, reminding her of Niles' absence almost painfully.

"Yes well, I find that I hunt better alone." She replied sweetly.

"Oh so you're on the prowl again? I'd volunteer as a prey in a second." He laughed and caressed her waist intimately.

"I'm afraid I enjoy a challenge more." She said and took a step back.

"If you ever change your mind..."he said softly and caressed her cheek with his knuckles, before disappearing into the crowd once more.

She suppressed a shiver and empted her cocktail in one gulp. She would've given anything to have Niles back by her side, to slip an arm around her body and hold her steadily against him in a way that showed that she was his and his alone. Or just to have him waiting for her when she returned home, patiently listening to her many complaints and rants. Her yearning for him was growing stronger the longer they were separated, but as long as she managed to hide the hurt in her heart, she'd continue to flee from taking action.


	15. 23rd December: Niles

__**Hello, Hello. And another update for your consideration. We're already in December and this story finishes in February, just so u know ;) Review please! :)**

23rd December: Huntington Road, York

The little fake Christmas tree was sparkling pathetically in the living room of his dimly lit flat. It had been placed in a corner, just by the TV that hadn't been working since he had been unable to keep up with the bills, just another item discarded meaninglessly.

The little tree had arrived a few days earlier in a special delivery package, brought to him by an impatient postman. Niles had instantly recognised the neat writing as his mother's and opened the box with a curious sense of dread. One could never know what Marie Brightmore had come up with now. Producing the Christmas tree that was decorated with pink garlands he had choked back laughter. The little note attached read "Something to brighten your Christmas" and still he wondered if his mother had even seen this horrible creation or if it had been another one of his father's adventures into the world of online shopping.

He flipped the card over repeatedly with his fingers , glancing at his present while his lips curved upwards more and more until a laugh finally escaped his throat. For a brief second he pondered passing the tree onto Mrs Sheffield, half to annoy Maxwell and half because it would probably become the most demure item in the collection, but then he noticed what had been scribbled in haste on the back of the card. "You can always come home…" His laughter slowly changed into a pensive frown as he traced the edges of the paper. Home… Releasing a deep sigh he placed the tree in the corner, grabbed his coat and went outside.

It wasn't as if he didn't want to go home, Niles pondered while washing his hands off the sticky dough. The tree, although sent out of good intent, had set loose a series of stress baking that he hadn't encountered since leaving New York City.

With the second batch of cookies in the oven it was time to clean up the mess he had made. It wasn't that home was such a bad place, he repeated in his head, it was more the fact that home had long since become about her. And where she would spend Christmas he couldn't even say for certain. Picturing her all on her own was almost as painful as picturing her in the arms of another man, almost. He had to admit that his selfish side won this debate. Going home would also be a reminder of his parents' marital bliss and his failed attempts at making a relationship work. He couldn't go, that was the end of it, or at least not now.

He scrubbed the bowls absent-mindedly, unaware of the delicious smell that started to fill the kitchen. This Christmas he'd go to work just like every day to keep his mind off her and then return home and fall asleep immediately. Yes, that's what he would do…

"Merry Christmas, old man…" he mumbled and took a sip from the eggnog on the table.


	16. 23rd December: CC

**Happy Easter everyone! :) Here is the last of December, please enjoy. Oh and review please! :)**

23rd December: Park Avenue, New York:

The continuous cheers from the downstairs apartment were starting to get on her nerves. Swirling the deep amber coloured liquid around in her glass she shifted and moved to sit in a more comfortable position. If the family downstairs would continue to celebrate so noisily she might as well have taken up the offer of spending Christmas with the Sheffields. But just the thought of the twins annoying cries, combined with Nanny Fine's more than strenuous voice had been enough to put her off.

She sighed and took a sip of her drink. In the rare moments that she was honest with herself – and those moments had indeed become rarer since nobody liked to be confronted with the truth all too often- she had confessed that the real reason she didn't want to be with the Sheffields was their very close family bond. Something she didn't exactly need to see. She shifted once more and placed the glass back on the table, before adjusting to finally sit in the most comfortable position. With her legs outstretched and her chin lightly propped up on the sofa edge, she had a perfect view out the window where the snowflakes were dancing in the wind. For a moment she remembered how cute Niles had looked with snowflakes all tangled in his hair, before she shook the image away.

"Well done, Scrooge, you're caught in your very own timeloop of hell where the Ghost of the Past comes to visit over and over again." She spoke dryly into the silence.

But in this particular case the fact remained that her past was the only thing capable of determining her future. On a sudden urge she reached for the phone, confidence maybe alcohol induced or fueled by being confronted with her fears once more. Whatever the reason she found herself rapidly dialing Niles'number, the knowledge that she could change her mind again any second spurring her on. She held her breath when the call connected. One second. Two. Then suddenly a mechanical voice that told her that the person she was trying to reach was temporarily unavailable. Her heart plummeted sickeningly a second later. He wasn't there, he had moved. But did the fact that he had moved also mean that he had moved _on_? No… she shook her head. This new development could mean all sorts of things. He could've moved back in with his parents, he could be away on vacation and disconnected the phone, there could be trouble with the phone company.

She sighed and turned, swinging her legs over the edge of the sofa, pressing the soles of her feet firmly against the carpet, while pouring herself a refill with shaking hands. She may have been a rational woman at one point but now even she couldn't logically justify to herself why it shook her so to know of the possibility that Niles may have moved on. Somehow even through their separation the fact that she knew where he was had always kept her calm. Losing that last link now, it seemed, was more than she could bear.

"Happy Holidays…" she muttered darkly and emptied her second glass.


	17. 3rd January: Niles

**Hello, Hello. It****'s update time and we've now reached the January chapters and as I mentioned before, this story ends in February. Those of you who keep reviewing and sticking with this: THank you! It is much appreciated. :)**

3rd January: Huntington Road, York

The New Year came with a dip in the stability of his mood, which he had worked for so hard over the past months. The wind that was loudly rattling at the window was barely enough to wake the sleeping man on the red bed. Numerous empty bottles of liquor that lay strewn all over the floor around him were a clear indication as to why he wasn't awakened easily.

In retrospect , spending Christmas on his own hadn't been the most brilliant idea he had ever had. Being alone always led to him thinking about certain events of the past; which in turn had led him to slip deeper and deeper into the darkness. Before his latest alcohol induced coma he had been pondering the age old philosophical question as to the purpose of life. Truth was that he couldn't remember at all what his purpose in life was, nor could he really come up with any good reason why he should make it another year.

Another noise from the storm outside finally proved loud enough to wake him up. He grunted once unceremoniously and muttered something under his breath, before rolling to the side and knocking a half-full Scotch bottle over which smashed into several pieces on the floor. He rubbed his face, feeling the stubble under his skin once more, and pulled himself upright. Somewhere in the back of his head he knew that his landlord wouldn't approve of severe stains on the carpet that was covering the tiles, but that wasn't enough at all to convince him to clean up the mess. It was as if he had learned nothing from the past, certainly not how close he had come to living on the street. It was all too easy to forget the urgency of the present time when confrontedwith the ghosts of the past.

"_It's going to be ok."_

_ She had been repeating the same phrase over and over again. And while reciting that mantra seemed to help her, it was doing nothing to chase away his lingering fears. From the moment he had started dating C.C. Babcock he had known that it wouldn't be a smooth endeavor. The woman was complicated enough herself and little squabbles were on their daily agenda, but the real issue had always layn with her parents. If making C.C. his had been a difficult task given their stations in life, he had always known that convincing her parents of this union was next to impossible._

_ When C.C. repeated the sentence for the 5__th__ time, he finally took initiative, squeezed her hand and then rang the doorbell. A moment later the door was opened by an immaculate looking butler and Niles absent-mindedly wondered when the sound of a creaking door had last filled him with such dread. After their coats had been collected they were led into the large sitting room of the mansion. The moment his eyes landed on D.D. and B.B. Babcock, the former a perfect replica of a younger C.C. while only the eyes of the latter bore a hint of resemblance (everything else had been altered by face work), he knew that he would never be approved. The look alone which they gave him was indication enough. He wasn't welcome there, hadn't been since C.C. had first dropped his name in the context of a relationship. But it didn't matter, as prepared as he had been for this reaction, being directly confronted with it now still made him feel nauseous._

_ "You must be Niles," B.B. greeted him and he had only a second to marvel at her ability to fill such a simple sentence with so much disdain, before C.C.'s sister spoke up too. _

_"Yes Chastity has been practically yapping our ears off about you." _

_He looked at her and forced a smile, wondering if this fake benevolence could possibly be worse than the open hostility he had been expecting.  
><em>

_Dinner continued in a rather civilised manner, as C.C. seemed to think for she kept squeezing his hand and whispering encouraging words into his ear. But he didn't like the looks that were passed across the table, didn't like their eyes that kept reminding him of the fact that he wasn't the right person for C.C., that he was beneath them and that it would only be a matter of time before C.C. came to her senses again. He also didn't like it one bit what happened to C.C. when in the presence of her relatives, for nothing seemed to remain of the otherwise so determined, passionate woman._

He still could remember how she had expressed her relief on their drive home, how well her family seemed to have taken the news. But he had remained quiet, not daring to voice his fears which told him that sooner or later he'd lose her to them.

"Here's to being right," he muttered and fished for another bottle on the floor.

For a second everything they had been through flashed up In front of his eyes. All the hurt and the struggles…but sometimes a relationship simply wasn't meant to happen…


	18. 3rd January: CC

__**Hello, Hello. With all the packing I almost forgot to update lol But here it is. Thanks for your reviews, guys. Back on Tuesday! :)**

3rd January: Park Avenue, New York

The fact that they had already been 3 days into the New Year had barely registered with C.C. who had spent New Year's Eve much like any other day of the Christmas vacation on her couch with some kind of liquor or other. It had, in fact, only been the loud sound of the rockets exploding into the nightsky that had reminded her of the fact that the New Year had begun.

There was a knock on the door that caused her to rapidly fly to her feet while pushing her reading glasses to the crown of her head. Upon opening the door she found herself face to face with a young, petite brunette.

"Are you Miss C.C. Babcock?" she asked politely.

"Yes, I am," C.C. nodded and opened the door further to let her into her apartment. "You must be Celia from the cleaning company?"

"Yes," the girl nodded, while looking curiously around the vast apartment "it is correct that I start working today, isn't it?"

"Yes," C.C. nodded and walked past her to the couch to retrieve her book "but don't worry, I have to go to work again tomorrow so I won't be around usually while you clean."

"It is not a problem." The girl re-assured her "I start now then?"

C.C. nodded again and, pressing the book to her chest, retreated to the other side of the living room. "I'll just go and shower in the meantime."

Seeing the girl whip out her equipment to start cleaning, she went into her bedroom where she sat down and sighed. Whether she liked it or not, it still felt good having someone in her apartment again. Discussing if choosing a domestic had been intentional or purely out of need for someone to keep her apartment clean though was entirely out of the question.

Remembering that she had wanted to shower, she stood up again and grabbed a towel and clutching it to her chest now instead of the book she made her way to the bathroom. Casting a glance to the living room as she went, she could just observe Celia collecting all of the photos of her and Niles that had been strewn across the table and putting them into one neat pile. She could still see him smiling up at her from the top-most picture which led to an even hastier retreat into the bathroom, while her mind picked back up what she'd been thinking about over the holidays.

"_C'mon, Niles, I know there's something wrong. You've been silent the entire ride home." She said, holding open the door for him to let him enter. _

_"Nono…everything's fine," he replied, giving her a smile that was mostly weak and hardly happy "maybe I shouldn't have touched that caviar though, who knows what that woman put into it." _

_She chuckled and hung up their coats. "Now that's a joke, I don't think mommy has ever been within three feet of a kitchen in her whole life." _

_He nodded and grew quiet again. _

_"Now come on, old man, what's the matter?" she tried to coax him again, wrapping her arms around him "Do I have to get ugly?" _

_He chuckled a bit but the lack of come-back was definitely a cause for concern. _

_"I thought we agreed that tonight went rather well?" _

_He nodded and suddenly looked at her with a deep intensity in his eyes. _

_"Niles…wha-?" _

_But that's as far as she got because without any warning he crushed his lips to hers. Feeling her body react in an instant, she melted against him and gently pried his lips open with her tongue to stroke his tongue passionately. Wrapping his arms around her more firmly, he finally picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. It certainly hadn't been the first time that Niles and her had made love so passionately, however, there was an anger and desperation in the way that he loved her that night, which confused her somewhat. Afterwards he had turned away from her, tears in his eyes that had almost broken her heart. _

_"Hey…this isn't like you…what's going on?" she had whispered softly, spooning him carefully from behind. _

_"Nothing…" he had muttered, before adding more softly "I love you…alright?" _

And now she couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened that night, that she had missed something vital at the family dinner. Or maybe, she thought as the warm water washed down her body, she was just searching for an explanation for a failed relationship that had been doomed from the very beginning.


	19. 13th January: Niles

__**Hello, Hello. Well, you might not realise this but 2 years ago today I published my first Nanny fic here. So because of that I'm posting 2 chapters today!;) I hope you'll enjoy them and review! :)**

13th January: Coney Street, York

The Christmas lights and decorations had thankfully been removed by the time Niles returned to work. It had taken him over a week to recover from his latest alcohol induced dip and though his hands were shaking lightly at the sight of Mrs Smith's liquor cabinet, he had kept a professional attitude and pulled himself together. It wasn't exactly as if anyone would've noticed, had he stolen a tiny sip from one of the expensive bottles, for there was quite the commotion in the mansion going on that very night. Upon arrival Niles had learned that the Earl of Cheshire had asked none other than Clara Smith to join him for supper, a fact that had not only thrilled the old lady greatly, but also caused a great stir as she suddenly requested a whole new wardrobe, complete with matching jewellery, of course. Niles hummed and chuckled, once again glad that he wasn't the butler in this household.

It was already rather late in the evening, when the lady finally left the mansion, clad in a pompous purple gown, her white hair piled neatly on the top of her head. The Earl had come knocking himself, quite an honour, of course, though Niles had half expected a horse drawn carriage. As he watched the old lady shakily walking down the cobble-stone street, arms linked with the Earl, he felt a wave of melancholy wash over him. It was always amazing to see what effect love could have, no matter the age...

"_Alright, old man, just calm down. You're going to give yourself a bloody second heart attack." He muttered to himself, adjusting his tie for the fifth time in the rear-view mirror. _

_He didn't even know anymore himself for how long he had been parked outside C.C.'s penthouse, just knew that at some point it had occurred to him that it didn't really matter how late he was because he'd mess their first date up in anyway. A sharp knock on the window interrupted his musings. He swallowed and his face flushed somewhat when he saw C.C. standing there in an elegant blue dress, a wrap around her shoulders to shield her against the wind. Lamely he pressed the button that caused the window to slide down and choked out a pathetic "hey"._

_ "I'm sorry I'm late... I didn't realise you were going to wait outside for me." She said, smiling weakly at him_

_. At that he almost had to chuckle, because it was safe to say that the usually so confident woman was as nervous as he was himself. He smiled reassuringly at her, before exiting the car, rounding it and holding the door open for her. Some day he would tell her that he hadn't been able to work up the courage to knock on her door..._

_They drove to the other end of Manhattan where he had reserved a table at a tiny Greek restaurant. They were seated in midst of many other couples, scanning the menu while stealing the occasional glance at each other. Niles was almost regretting to have suggested a date in the first place, because they had barely exchanged two words. For their starter they both nibbled on some carrot sticks and all sorts of other vegetable which they dipped into hummus. But the silence was starting to become so unbearable that Niles finally grabbed the first best opportunity for a zinger. _

_"Good God, Babcock, even that hummus around your mouth won't hide the beard that you're trying to cover up."_

_ For a split second she had wiped at her mouth self-consciously, before she had broken into laughter. "Thank God!" she managed, still chuckling to herself "I was beginning to think this was a bad idea. I thought everything had changed now..."_

But it seemed that where the two of them were concerned, love couldn't alter all that much...


	20. 13th January: CC

**And here's the 2nd chapter. Hope you enjoy! :)**

13th January: Central Park, New York

It was her daily lunch break and she had nowhere else to be, seeing as Celia was busy cleaning her apartment. It occurred to her as she was leaving one of the larger, more tourist-frequented paths behind, that in some ironic twist of fate she had now started to adopt Niles' habit of spending an hour at the park every day. Though right now at this particular time of year she couldn't quite understand that habit of his. All the trees were bare and there was a chill in the air that hadn't been there a week before. C.C. pulled her black coat tighter around her body and adjusted the red beret absent-mindedly, half laughing at herself for even considering to put the thick winter coat back in the closet. She should've known that there would always be a chill when she least expected it.

After some time she found a bench which she considered safe enough to sit on as there were no loved-up couples around; and quickly directed her thoughts back to Celia. Hiring her had really turned out to be one of her better decisions. She had almost expected her to be as nosy as Fran or Niles, but instead she had been nothing but quiet and professional. And yet...seeing the girl clean up the mess of liquor bottles, cigarettes and torn up photos she had left behind, C.C. had felt the inexplicable urge to confide into the girl.

"_He was my boyfriend...fiancé, actually."_ _She had said, pointing awkwardly at the left side of Niles' face, the only side that hadn't been burned to ashes. _

_Celia had smiled briefly and nodded and continued to clean undeterred. _

_"He's been gone for quite some time..."_

_ At that the girl's movements had halted and she had looked up at her sadly. "I'm so sorry, Miss Babcock." _

_When she finally made the connection, C.C. couldn't help but burst out laughing in a way that was probably rather inappropriate for the situation. Seeing Celia's horrified face, she hurried to explain: "Oh no, he didn't die. We just...broke up...I broke up with him...maybe I just gave up..." she added as an afterthought. _

_"Oh..." the girl chuckled a bit "I'm sorry...but when you said...I just assumed." _

_"It's ok..." C.C. nodded and gave her a tiny smile._

_ It had occurred to her briefly then how oddly she was behaving towards the girl, how she almost seemed to like her. How she really wasn't herself anymore... _

_"It's funny, isn't it?" she had started again after a while "how you can remember something as meaningless as the food you ate on your first date...but you cannot remember what happened that broke you apart..."_

_ She had been silent again after and only looked up when feeling that she was being observed. "Sounds like a harsh break up..." Celia had offered. _

_"Apparently," C.C. nodded, her lips curling into a humour-less smile. "We went to a Greek restaurant...and we danced...I still remember," she chuckled "Streisand came on as we danced...and I remember commenting "Even here we aren't safe." And he said..." She had paused again, momentarily lost in the memory. "And he said "It appears Miss Fine has spies everywhere.""_

_ When Celia hadn't laughed at this C.C. had been forcefully pulled back to reality. Of course she didn't laugh...she had no idea whom she was talking about. She swallowed and lowered her head._

_ "I'm sorry..."and with that she was gone. _

Since then she had made it a conscious effort not to be home when Celia was around and she would continue to do so until she had a little bit of dignity back. She should've known that love would alter everything...


	21. 19th January: Niles

**Hello, Hello. Update time!:) I hope you're still enjoying this and thanks for the reviews! ;) I'll be back on Monday!**

19th January: Huntington Road, York

He was standing in the phone booth shaking like a leaf. It seemed that the weather couldn't quite make up its mind this January, always switching between warm degrees and below zero degrees, producing ice on the river and frost on the grass. He tore his eyes away from the ducks that were waddling across the ice or swimming in the tiny ponds of water and picked up the phone again. He wasn't exactly keen on speaking to his parents but seeing as New Year had come and gone without a single phone call he figured it now as a requirement. His fingers reluctantly dialled the number and he held his breath when the beeping started. The line was busy, they were clearly talking to someone else. He tried twice more and then finally gave up. As long as they weren't too worried...

He hummed and stuffed his hands into his trouser pockets and trudged home. As he walked he went through a list of people his parents could be talking to and stopped when C.C. suddenly popped into his head. Shaking his head amusedly he continued walking. No, C.C. was definitely someone they were talking to. The relationship between her and his parents had never been quite as bad as that of him and _her_ family, but it certainly hadn't been a comfortable one either.

"_And you're telling me that now?" she snapped._

_ He chuckled warmly and circled his arms around her waist. "Yes, I know how you'd stress otherwise." He grinned and kissed her neck. _

_She whirled around in his arms, almost knocking him over. "As opposed to now where I'm calm?" she raged. _

_To her annoyance he couldn't hold back another chuckle. "it's just a casual dinner..." he caressed her cheek. _

_"With you parents!" she almost shrieked. _

_"I didn't think it was that big a deal." He grinned slyly. _

_"Yes, you did!" she slapped him firmly "You said you knew I would stress..." _

_"Come on, C.C., "he kissed her softly "this isn't a formal "meet the family" encounter, this is just a-"_

_ But he never got to finish as the doorbell interrupted them. _

_"If that's them I swear to God, Niles." She growled and he hurriedly left her grasp, lest she slap him again._

_The moment he had opened the door his father had enveloped him in a bear hug and whispered: "Already in trouble with the Missus, son? Haven't I taught you anything?" _

_He had managed a somewhat nervous chuckle and then turned to greet his mother, while noticing C.C. slipping away and into the bathroom._

_She had only emerged again when dinner was ready. _

_"Nice to meet you, Sir," she had politely greeted his father who had only laughed._

_ "Do I really look that old, girl?" _

_"N-no, of course not..." she stammered. _

_Niles had been leaning in the doorway at that moment, wondering what had happened to his feisty girlfriend. _

_"Don't worry, dear," Marie had chimed in, clutching C.C.'s hand lovingly between her own "my husband and son are both alike: utterly impossible and childish." _

_That had at least produced a tiny grin on C.C.'s face. _

_"Now Marie, that isn't going to convince her to marry our boy," Henry grinned. _

_"Dad," Niles intersected warningly. _

_"It's alright, dear, don't worry." Marie had once again spoken up "we see how happy you make our son, there's nothing more we need." _

_"Yes, no pressure!" Henry reassured as well, winking at her comradely.  
><em>

_Then just after dinner C.C. had appeared in the kitchen, grabbing her emergency pack of cigarettes. _

_"Come on, love, that's really not necessary." He had tried but she had firmly pushed him out of the way. _

_He sighed, turned off the water and making some excuse to his parents followed suit. It had only been a matter of time...he rubbed his face. He had closely observed her at dinner, seen how her eyes had grown sadder and sadder and her posture more rigid, as if the love and care-freeness at the table was physically suffocating her. He had known from the beginning that his parents' friendliness would only serve to heighten her insecurities...but not like this...  
>He found her standing by the backdoor taking quick drags and looking lost. And wordlessly he took the cigarette, put it out and drew her into his arms. <em>


	22. 19th January: CC

__**Hello, Hello. Update time!:) Thanks to those, as always, who still are kind enough to review. :) Encourages me somewhat lol Next 2 chapters will be the last of January and then we're already in the final month. Will update again on Thursday!**

19th January: Sheffield Mansion, New York

After spending the night half awake or caught in nightmares, C.C. had only managed a hurried breakfast before rushing off to the Sheffields. After her last fall out with Maxwell she had been trying to stay on his good side, turning up at work almost painfully early.

Despite her bad start to the day she still made it on time. Waiting for the butler to open the door she smoothed down her clothes and rubbed her eyes tiredly, praying for a relatively calm day that wouldn't try her patience even more.

"Good morning, Miss Babcock," the butler greeted her politely, but she simply gave a short "Gabriel" and threw her coat at him in passing. "They're all in the office!" was all the poor man managed to call after her.

C.C. had just a short moment to wonder who exactly "everyone" was before she set foot in the room herself. In a second all pairs of eyes were on her.

"So how is business, Max?" she heard a man ask over the phone whose voice she instantly recognised as Henry Brightmore's.

For a moment she froze on the spot, terrified that something bad had happened to Niles, but then his words registered and she figured that he'd hardly be making chitchat if his son was injured. She kept her eyes locked on Max and Fran and Gracie, who were staring back at her just as intensely as if waiting for an explosion.

"And she just arrived, didn't she?" Marie Brightmore spoke into the silence, always having been skilled at making an awkward moment even more unbearable.

Maxwell's eyes darted to the phone and back to C.C.

"Yes, she has." She finally spoke, walking to the desk "Been talking about me, have you?"

And when she saw Fran casting her eyes down guiltily, her suspicion was confirmed.

"Now now, child," Henry spoke softly "no need to be so defensive."

Memories of their first meeting flashed in front of her eyes, but she hurriedly suppressed them again.

"I'm sure you would behave the same," she said quietly.

There was a brief silence before he agreed. "How are you, dear?" he then asked softly in a way that made her chest constrict painfully.

"Good...busy..." she answered curtly and earned a hum from Henry in return. All too aware of all the eyes that were still observing her, she shifted nervously and almost whispered into the phone: "How is he?"

"We're not sure," Henry replied quietly "he's not exactly in touch a lot."

She nodded and went back to the green loveseat where she extracted a pack of cigarettes from her purse.

"C.C.," Max tried but then was smart enough to shrink out of her way and let her pass.

"Well, that went well," she heard Fran announce cheerfully before she made it into the kitchen.

"Beat it, Gerard!" she snapped at the unsuspecting butler and opened the backdoor and started to smoke.


	23. 26th January: Niles

**Thanks for the lovely reviews :) Next chapter will be posted on Sunday. Review, please!:) **

26th January: Huntington Road, York

A few days had passed since he had finally managed to talk to his parents. As it turned out they had been speaking to C.C. that day... He sighed, crumbled another slice of toast in his hand and threw the crumbs to the ducks. He had managed to hold back his curiosity and thirst of information for all of five minutes, before he had swallowed his pride and asked in what he hoped had sounded like a nonchalant tone: "How is she?"

There had been no hesitation in his parents' answer. "She's busy..."

_Busy..._ even now he had to chuckle at that. C.C. was always busy... it could either mean that her life hadn't drastically changed with his departure, or that she was keeping busy to distract herself from the hole in her life. That was the thing about her; one never knew what was really going on inside her head. Another piece of toast disappeared in his fist and was thrown into the river. He sighed and let the tension ebb away again. There had been a time when he thought to have known her...

"_I'm home!" She sounded chipper. _

_He shrugged to himself and fished another piece of mu shu pork out of the carton.__"Chinese is in the fridge..." _

_He hadn't bothered making dinner this time, had learned from past experience. She disappeared for a moment to heat up her meal, before joining him on the couch. _

_"I finally got that investor to sign up." She announced and momentarily placed the carton on the table to pull the pin out of her hair. _

_"You're late again..." he replied quietly, suddenly pushing the box away as if he had noticed a cockroach in it. _

_"You knew I was trying to reel him in..." she stuck her chopstick inside her box and skilfully guided the food to her mouth. _

_There was an edge to her tone that warned him not to press the matter further, but Niles had always been good at ignoring the rules she laid out. _

_"Yes, that's why I ordered in." He sounded chiding but didn't care. _

_She too now set the box down and shoved it as far away as possible. "I had a long day, Niles. I was actually looking for some relaxation, not a lecture." _

_"I am not a dog who you can just train to sit around and wait for you and then greet you happily, just pleased to have you back!" he pointed out. _

_"Oh no? But you're doing a very good job at wagging your tail when you're excited." She retorted spitefully. _

_"Can you not go one argument without being demeaning?" he couldn't help but raise his voice. _

_"Can you not go one argument without being patronising?" she yelled back, her chest rising and falling angrily. _

_"If you don't want to be in a relationship then you shouldn't be with me." _

_"What's that supposed to mean?" she scoffed. _

_"It means that maybe you aren't ready, C.C. You aren't ready to be involved, to feel dependent on someone... so instead you bury yourself in your work...it's a good way of avoiding intimacy. You're scared, C.C., that's all you are. Afraid to let me close now and develop trust and comfort just in case I might disappoint you and you'll have to be alone again." _

_"Spare me your psychobabble!" but she couldn't meet his eyes and her voice wasn't strong anymore either. _

_"Don't forget, C.C., I know you better than anyone else..." he said quietly and almost softly and passed her to squeeze her shoulder lightly "but that doesn't mean I'll tolerate everything."_

Yes...he had known her better than anyone else, but sometimes that hurt more than if he didn't...


	24. 26th January: CC

**Update time. Thanks for the reviews!:) Be back on Wednesday with their break up scene. It isn't long anymore until the finish line,so bear with me! ;)**

26th January: Park Avenue, New York

"Ugh..." C.C. exclaimed as she stepped into her apartment, still shivering slightly. One would think that after over 20 years in New York City she'd be used to the spontaneous blizzards that could occur in the cold months.  
>Brushing some snowflakes off her coat she thought of a possible comment Niles would've made if hearing her complain like this. Probably something about the Ice Queen and her element.<p>

"Shut up, Niles..." she mumbled into the silence and felt a sharp sting at the lack of response.

It had been another big work day, almost unbearably prolonged by the sudden snowfall, and all she really wanted to do was to curl up on the couch while he took care of her. Instead she headed into the kitchen and heated herself up a microwave meal. Cheap Whiskey accompanied her dinner and an old film on TV provided the soundtrack that blocked out the deafening silence.  
>She couldn't stand the quiet anymore...not when she was alone and certainly not at work where everyone was keeping their distance since the phone call with the Brightmores. She sighed and stuck her fork into the meal moodily...such bitter irony...<p>

"_I am only passing through!" she called, already striding across the apartment and completely ignored the lovely meal that had been set up.__When the image finally registered she stopped and turned. "Niles..."_

_ But it was too late; he had already retreated back to the kitchen. She sighed deeply and glanced at her watch that told her that she was already dangerously late for her appointment, but the sad man in the kitchen convinced her to take a diversion. _

_"Niles, as much as I appreciate these surprised dinners, you cannot be upset with me when I don't have the time to stay." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I didn't know..." _

_He whirled around so suddenly that she almost backed against the doorframe._

_ "Surprise dinner?" he scoffed "C.C. it's just a bloody average meal. It's what people in a relationship do!" _

_"There you go again, patronising me as if I didn't know what it means to be – " _

_"I'm sorry, C.C., but you don't." He interrupted her. _

_Her mouth fell open as her brain tried to come up with a good retort. But there was none. _

_"Maybe I don't..." she conceded quietly "but you knew that from the beginning. So maybe you shouldn't have got together with me... or at least not lied..." _

_"Lied?" he frowned. _

_"Yes, when I told you I wasn't good at this you said I couldn't do anything wrong..." she mumbled and turned. _

_He was with her in a second and pulled her against his chest. "I would've said anything that moment to make you stay, C.C." he whispered against her skin "But that doesn't mean that I'll leave you when things get hard." _

_The soft touch of his lips on her neck was relaxing and distracting her but only until she caught a glimpse of the time. The old panic bubbling up in her again, she hurriedly moved out of his arms with a quick "Gotta go!" and went to freshen up._

And now looking around the empty place she wished she hadn't pushed him away...


	25. 2nd February: Niles

**Hello, Hello. Well, this is the break up chapter, hope you enjoy it and please review :) This story'll end on the 24th February, so we're almost there! ;)**

2nd February: Coney Street, York

The Smith mansion was deadly silent when he entered it that night. Something stirred sickeningly in his stomach and he ran a hand through his hair almost nervously.

"What are you doing here?" Jeffrey's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"I..." he started and turned to face him.

"They forgot to call you, didn't they?" Jeffrey sighed.

"I...uh...apparently..." he shrugged and smiled briefly.

"What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"You can say that again..." Jeffrey muttered and ushered him out of the corridor and downstairs to the kitchen. "The lady is in mourning," he finally explained when they were both seated at the counter.

"My condolences..." Niles offered half-heartedly and continued to stare at his hands.

"Nobody died," the butler sounded almost annoyed "the Earl chose another one as his lady."

"Oh...OH!" he just managed to stop a chuckle from bubbling up.

But a moment later his desire to laugh faded altogether. As unfriendly as the old lady was, he guessed that a break up was unpleasant at any age. He himself knew all too well what it felt like...maybe "mourning" was a good word after all...

_He spotted her the moment he entered the ballroom. His eyes were always drawn to her in an instant, as if they were made just to look at her. A brief pang of jealousy shot through him at her intimate interaction with the group of men around her, but catching sight of her golden engagement ring that glistened in the soft light, he forced himself to remain calm. Instead he let his eyes follow down the slope of her back, drank in the skin that wasn't hidden by the black fabric of the dress she wore. _

_"Well, I'm glad that Maxwell told me of this," he smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist "otherwise I would've missed it." _

_He only got as far as placing a kiss on her temple, before he noticed by the look she gave him that that was exactly what had been supposed to happen. At once his arm went limp and dropped to his side. "I see..."  
><em>

_The air outside was colder than he recalled and he shivered slightly. He looked up and down the street, pondering where to go, the lost look never leaving his eyes entirely. _

_"It was a business party." Her voice startled him, he hadn't expected her to follow him so quickly._

_ He nodded wordlessly and stuffed his hands into his pockets. _

_"We can't continue like this..." she quietly continued and he nodded once again. "Maybe we should've known from the start that couldn't work." _

_He found himself numbly nodding over and over again, interminably muted while the woman he loved grew into a stranger in front of him._

_ "Don't think this isn't affecting me..." she whispered and looked down._

_ He wanted to reach out and touch her, talk to her somehow, but his body was painfully frozen. She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. _

_"But I'm sure this'll be best for us..." she nodded, as if to convince herself of the truthfulness of her words. "Find yourself a good woman," she had finally said almost softly and placed the engagement ring in the palm of his hand. _

_He vaguely registered the soft touch of her lips on his cheek before she disappeared and everything went up in flames. He stood on the dark street, faint music from the ballroom still reaching his ears, and stared at the ring until tears clouded his vision and the first sob broke from his throat in a pained howl. For a split second he thought of her family, their fights, their progress... _

_"We lost..." he whispered and that was that. _


	26. 2nd February: CC

**Hello, , next update. What's CC's phone call about? :p This sounds like a weak ad lol "Tune in next time to find out..." But yeah...please read and review! :)**

2nd February: Park Avenue, New York

She had been sitting at the table wordlessly for the past 45 minutes. The ticking of the clock in the background was the only noise that filled her apartment. In front of her on the table lay a golden ring, glistening innocently in the light. C.C.'s rigid posture and her almost paralysed focus on the object in question did not betray the various thoughts racing through her head. The most poignant of them being why her ring was there when she had handed it back to Niles all these years ago.

It had started off as a normal enough day, that was until she had entered her apartment. Celia, always the thorough cleaner had found the ring and put it on the table with a small note attached. With all her thoughts circling around the question when Niles had placed it back in her apartment and how she hadn't noticed it before, she hadn't dared to touch the little golden band.

"Why did you leave it?" she uttered into the silence, her fists balling angrily at her sides.

Had he intended it as some kind of punishment? Knowing that she'd come across it one day? Or had he simply intended it as a gentle reminder? A comfort of sort... She reached out and only allowed her fingertips to make brief contact with the cool metal. A second later she withdrew them again. Too much had happened since the night she had broken off their engagement. And now the silence and loneliness were too much once and for all. Grabbing the ring – this time with a fierce determination- she stood up and went to make a phone call.

_Her and Niles had always differed. Their playful nature merely a superficial similarity of their otherwise varying personalities. Therefore, it shouldn't have come as such a surprise that she could read Niles' pain and disappointment so obviously on his face when she had returned the ring to him. She had returned to the ballroom with an almost disturbing calm, her feelings numbed by her perfect self-control that she had acquired over the years. She had profoundly apologised to the backer and asked him for a dance.  
>That night, when she had entered the apartment and slipped under the cold sheets that still bore a hint of their mingled scent, a tiny piece of hurt managed to slip through her iron-hard control and stole its way into her heart. She had numbed it again with a shot of Whiskey. One of many. Because what she should've learned was that her and Niles might differ in fundamental ways – so he would wear his hurt openly almost as successfully as she was in hiding hers – but that he had changed her too. In the months after his heart attack he had made it impossible for her to bottle things up and now it seemed that her newly acquired openness had come back to bite her in the ass.<em>

_The next day there had been a palpably chilly atmosphere in the Sheffield mansion that not even Fran or Max were brave enough to comment on. Niles had opened the door for her like on any ordinary day, only that she hadn't given him the chance to utter even a single word, but instantly disappeared into the office._  
><em>The distance had grown and grown between them from that moment onward until they had physically grown so far apart that Niles always made sure never to be in the house when she was around. Finally ice had settled over the matter, all emotions and unsaid words frozen beneath it.<em>


	27. 17th February: Niles

**Update time ;) In the next chapter you'll find out what CC's up to. Review, please!:)**

17th February: Somewhere Between London and Winchester

The train was crowded, as much he should've expected given that it was a late Friday afternoon. But he had just been able to afford the pricey trip home and against his better judgement refused to spend any more money on reservations. That was why he now found himself uncomfortably squished between people of varying ages and sizes. A little girl at his feet had been crying non-stop for the past 30 minutes, her wailing continuously interrupted by a strangely accurate in rhythm popping of some teenager's chewing gum. He tightened his hold on the pole and closed his eyes for a few seconds, attempting to block all the noise out.

With the situation at the Smith mansion becoming almost unbearably sombre, Niles had once again felt himself slipping into the darkness of his past. He had grown to be quite the expert in judging how this phase would progress, knew that alcohol would eventually become the solution again. But he had also learned from his past dips that alcohol couldn't cure his problems. So instead of waiting around for the darkness to overwhelm him he had chosen to do the other thing he was an expert at: fleeing.

As he opened his eyes again when the train stopped at the next station, he mentally counted the times he had used this strategy before: as a teenager he had fled from his future as a butler; as an adult he had fled relationships, blaming this on his lingering feelings for C.C.; he had fled from telling C.C. about his feelings for 20 years and finally he had fled when she had started to show emotions again…

"_I'll probably come by after work again." She called, sticking her head into the room a last time. _

_"You don't have to, C.C., really I'm fine." She nodded but then he saw her falter. _

_Slowly she glanced around the apartment he had moved into after their separation, a small placed that looked dark and bare because he had seen no reason to renovate or decorate. _

_"You're not," she finally voiced and walked over to sit down on the edge of his bed "you were lucky that the heart attack occurred while you were working. I can't even imagine what could've happened if you'd had it here…with no-one around…"_

_ Her eyes were betraying worry and guilt at the same time, a combination he loathed to see. She had turned into a perfect little nurse after hearing about his second heart attack, tending to him in the mornings and after work. Her care was touching and her affection finally surfacing again. At first he had basked in this, like a withering plant in the darkness turning to welcome the sun. But she had a flaw, a tiny, magnificent flaw like a chip in a Ming vase. She was relieving her conscience because she had abandoned him by taking care of him now. He never doubted the truthfulness of her fear, but he did not want to be cared for, did not want to be treated like a porcelain doll that could break any second if handled too hard. He did not want her pity…he wanted her love._

_ "Then I would've called 911," he finally answered "C.C., I am a grown man, I know the symptoms, I can handle it." _

_She nodded but continued to chew her lip nonetheless. "I'll be back tonight." And she had stood up. _

_"Don't worry, love." He softly said, winked at her and given her hand a light squeeze._

_After she had left he'd packed his things, ready to flee…  
><em>

He hadn't realised how far he had come until he was standing in front of the little cottage. Taking a deep breath he finally rang the bell. A moment of silence followed by excited barking and shuffling footsteps followed, then the first glimpse of his father.

"Marie!" he called "Our son is here!"


	28. 17th February: CC

**Update time! :) THanks to the 2 of you who reviewed the last chapter. There are 4 more chapters in total to follow this, 2 for the 23rd February, one for the 24th and an Epilogue. So maybe you can work out what'll happen. On a sidenote: doesn't Daniel Davis look great in The Tempest? Leave reviews, please! :)**

17th February: Park Avenue, New York

C.C. set foot into her penthouse which looked like it had been burgled. All the effort that Celia had made in keeping her apartment neat and tidy had been overthrown. Pictures, memorable items, tickets, various notes and her passport were strewn across the living room table. Coats and shoes were randomly distributed over the carpet, having been moved about by the playful Pomeranian she had just taken to the kennel. Her laptop was placed on the floor, still open, next to it its bag. In her bedroom the same picture: an opened suitcase was lying on her bed, clothes thrown randomly all over the bed, the floor and the closet. She sighed and took off her coat and boots, ready to clean up the mess she had created.

Ever since her phone call 2 weeks ago she had started feeling alive again. With the plan set in action she had a purpose again, and as the skilled business woman she was had worked down the list of things to do one by one. Now she was almost at the end of the list, only needed to pack and go and it all would've been so simple, had the last item on her agenda not been the hardest one: finding Niles. Once again she reminded herself what was at stake and only hoped that her drive would see her through this time and she wouldn't fail like the last…

"_Hey, I'm back again!" she called, letting herself into his apartment with her spare key "I brought you some fancy crap the butler made!" _

_Still no answer. She knew then that he'd gone, yet felt the urge to be absolutely certain. _

_"Still asleep old man?" she called and chuckled, but it sounded hollow even to her own ears. _

_She set the food down on the dresser and punished herself by checking each and every room, before finally stepping into his bedroom. He was really gone. She swallowed and sat down shakily. _

_"Niles…" she whispered; a single word that sounded strangely loud in the silence of his deserted apartment. _

_She had made three wrong assumptions so far. That she was doing the right thing in breaking off their engagement. That she wouldn't miss him. And finally, when she had persuaded herself that she could live without him, she had now come to realise that she hadn't moved on at all. And suddenly it hit her, all the pain, the sense of loss she should've experienced that night when she had returned his ring. But now it had become real, he had really left. And that just after she had realised how much she missed being around him. Taking care of him had never been a chore for her, even though she was aware of his dislike of her doing so. On the contrary, it had shown her what had been missing in her life, their banter to start the day, his touch the last contact at night. But once again she had noticed it too late and now she didn't know where to reach him or how to tell him. Not when he had so clearly moved on…this would be the 4__th__ wrong assumption she'd make._

With her suitcase securely leaning against the door she took a final look around. The apartment looked acceptable again and Celia would clean up the rest. Slipping into her coat, the golden band on her ring finger caught her attention and she smiled. She wouldn't be too late this time and she certainly wouldn't give up as easily. She was a woman on a mission after all…


	29. 23rd February: Niles

**Hello, Hello. The chapter after this will be the last of the regular chapters and then 2 different ones will follow...you'll see why :p The text in italics is what Niles hopes for in the future...just in case I didn't make that clear enough ;) I'll be back on Thursday! Leave me a review, please! :) **

23rd February: Brightmore Cottage, Winchester

The family reunion hadn't exactly gone as smoothly as expected. Not that he had thought to be greeted with open arms or without any comments at all, but he certainly hadn't reckoned with this either. His father found him crouching outside in the garden, picking some herbs that were necessary for the dinner preparations.

"Don't be angry at her, son, you know your mother's temper."

Niles stood up again, running his thumb absent-mindedly over the newly picked basil and offered a smile."I don't blame her…I haven't exactly been a good son lately."

Marie hadn't spoken a word with him since his arrival 6 days ago.

"She was worried about you, what with your heart condition and all." Henry nodded and Niles sighed, his cheek still sore from his mother's firm slap.

"Yes, I know…I should've called more…just to let you know that I was ok."

"Seems you weren't…" his father interjected gently.

"No…I….I've quite the journey behind me. Still, no excuse to believe like such an…."

"Ass, I believe is the word you're looking for. Definitely the word a certain Miss Babcock would've used." Henry's eyes sparkled softly, much like his son's in his happy days.

But now he only smiled sadly. "Yes…that's her, alright…"

"And I do suppose she's the reason for your disappearance…your withdrawal?"

He gave a non-committal shrug and grunt.

"Niles," his father sounded stern this time "I know about the situation and your struggle to convince her in the first place, but I only have one piece of advice for you: Move on and let her slip into the past or make her your future. You can't continue living like this. It's not even living…" he added quietly at the end.

"I've tried, dad, "Niles sighed, throwing the basil into a bowl and rubbing his face "but I can't just let her go…"

"Well then, it seems option B is your only choice." Henry nodded, the twinkle returning to his eyes "Think about the future, son."

"_Hello, Hello!" her voice sounded and a second later he heard the front door thrown shut. _

_"How did work go?" he called back from his position in the kitchen, keeping an eye on the various saucepans. _

_"Good," she stuck her head into the room "busy as always, but that's just how I like it." _

_He nodded, her excited grin utterly infectious. "Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes." _

_"Oh timed it perfectly again, you little Hausfrau!" she called, ascending the stairs to their bedroom to get changed before dinner. _

_"Oh shut your mouth, Babcock, it isn't too late to add dishwater to your wine!" he called back, already busy setting the table. _

_"You wouldn't dare!" and she reappeared in her usual sweats and sat down at the table._

_ "I wouldn't?" he raised an eyebrow in challenge "Have you learned nothing from the past?" _

_"Well, this is different…you don't want to endanger the little one, do you?" _

_His heart missed a beat and he whirled around to face her so quickly that he almost knocked over the bowl of mashed potatoes. _

_"You're?" he asked in shock, an expression that slipped away a second later when C.C. burst out laughing. _

_"No…got you!" _

_"I hate you, woman." He growled and shot her a playful glare. _

_"Hate you more!" she cooed. _


	30. 23rd February: CC

**Update time! Don't worry, it's almost over lol Next chapter they'll meet again though I can guarantee it'll be nothing like you imagined and then it's just the Epilogue. Reviews please? :)**

23rd February: JFK Airport, New York:

She hated airports, always had and always would. Hated any means of traveling really, when closely scrutinised. Planes scared her, busses made her sick and cars usually brought back memories of awful family trips with the Sheffields, off-key singing, chattering or crying. And even the travel aims had become associated with unpleasant situations: Stressful business meetings or fake family reunions. No matter how nice the location, there was always something wrong with it.

After having checked in her luggage she proceeded through security and bought herself a peach ice tea on the other side. The gate was already busy, but then that was always the case at JFK airport. In her purse she carried the usual items, such as her cell phone, lipstick and some pills, but also a notebook containing all information as to Niles' possible whereabouts she had managed to acquire.

After a 45 minute wait she finally boarded the plane and made herself comfortable in first class. By the time the plane finally took off she was already deeply focused on planning and hoping that this trip to Britain would be as successful as her last.

_They had awoken early on in the morning after Niles' insistence the night before that they simply had to go and see London. None of C.C.'s protests – that she had seen the city before and that she'd much rather stay in bed – had helped. _

_"Come on," his fingers had continuously tapped on her shoulder "it's beautiful outside." _

_C.C. had merely grumbled something under her breath and turned around again. But it was no use. When he threatened to wake her with a bucket load of water, she knew she couldn't take any chances given their track record. Miserable and hurling as many insults at him as she could possibly think of, she finally got up and crawled out of bed. _

_Their walk to the station was passed in relative quiet – considering her mood – and none of Niles' comments regarding the beautiful sunshine would help. By the time they got to the station and had bought their tickets, C.C. just had the chance to buy herself a cup of black coffee before the train arrived. _

_"I told you to get seat reservations," she complained moodily 10 minutes later when they were both seated on the floor between the toilet and a trash can. _

_"Stop grumbling, witch," he said in his deep voice and pulled her more on his lap. _

_"I could've taken mommy's private jet, we could've flown directly into London and-" She cut off abruptly when he pressed his lips against her neck, his way of silencing her when words failed to work. "I'm sorry," she finally sighed "I know this is your trip, your present…" _

_She leaned back against him, tipping her head so it rested on his shoulder. She'd never understand what he saw in her; the way she always complained and used money to get whatever she wanted stood in such stark contrast to his ability to appreciate the simple things in life and his patience when it came to waiting for something good. _

_"I'm just tired…" _

_"I know." He spoke into her ear, nuzzling her cheek lightly "but I promise you'll have a great time later on." _

_She smiled softly and tilted her head more so she could bury her face against his neck. "I love you, Brightmore." _

_"I love you too, Babcock."_

They had gotten engaged the same night, C.C. contemplated, twirling the golden ring. She sighed and stretched her aching body before pulling her coat tighter around herself and stepping outside in the cold York air. Worn out after her long plane and train journey she nonetheless only left her luggage at the hotel and went straight to search Huntington Road, the only address she had so far. But all the lights in the building were turned off. Giving a disappointed sigh she tried to peek in through the window but only saw a dark and empty room. Impossible to tell whether anyone usually occupied it or not…


	31. 24th February: CC and Niles

**I do realise that I'll probably be killed for ending this chapter there lol But once you read the Epilogue you'll understand why! ;) Now it's almost time to release you of this story lol Last update will be on Wednesday ;) I hope for those of you who are actually still reading this that the end will have been worth it lol But we'll see on Wednesday. Reviews please..**

24th February: York

It was dark outside by the time she left the hotel. Jetlag and frustration had worn her out enough to lock herself up in her room. Although she was aware that the chance of fiding people now who were able to tell her about Niles' whereabouts was more than unlikely, she also felt physically unable to sit around and do nothing.

Unlike the previous night it was relatively mild outside. After a few steps she opened her coat to let the wind cool her body. York was beautiful, she thought again, especially at night, if only he was there still too…As if by their own accord, C.C. was pulled down to Huntington Road again. The river lay calm and still under a lingering layer of weak ice. All the ducks were huddled together on the other side of the river, heads hidden between feathers. A brief smile flickered across her face, before she crossed the street and directed her steps to the basement flat Niles had supposedly lived in. The lights in the top flat were turned off, its occupier clearly still away. She sighed and took the three steps down until she could press her palm to the light-brown wood of the door.

"I hope you're still here…" she mumbled and then sank down on the steps.

* * *

><p>York was almost eerily quiet when he arrived at 11 o'clock at night. Some faint music reached his ears from Coney Street and the pubs of the nearby area, but Niles avoided the city center and hastily crossed the cathedral square. He was tired and worn out from the journey and had no interest in conversing with anyone. Monk's Gate was quickly reached and left behind and his strides quickened the closer he got to his flat. Changing his bag from the left shoulder to the right, he fished out his key from his pocket. It took a moment before his eyes focused on the figure sitting hunched on the stairs leading to his flat.<p>

"C.C.?" his voice sounded both hopeful and incredulous.

She turned around slowly, the same expression in her eyes and, as she rose, pushed a strand of greying hair behind her ear. She looked beautiful and lost.

"Hello, Niles…" she replied in her low voice that he had longed for over the past years.


	32. Epilogue

**Hello, hello for my last update! lol I want to thank sandra70,lynnylou31 and bogiedevil particularly because they actually kept reviewing lol Thanks to everyone else who still read this, I hope the end was worth waiting for. Now I have another story in the works but if I keep writing it at the pace I'm going at now it'll be 2 more months until it's finished. (written half so far) Once it's done it'll probably end up on here! ;) Leave me a last review, please! :)**

Epilogue:

The script hit the table with an almighty smack and he held his breath in the following seconds of silence that were to determine his fate.

"I should've known," she said, her back still turned to him "I should've known when the first chapter of "Memories of Autumn" by an anonymous author landed on my desk. And I certainly should've known when the chapters kept coming even though I had ordered them to stop."

He kept his eyes on his knees, though a secretive grin had snuck over his face. Irked by his calm and silence she found herself forced to turn around; his eyes met hers instantly, as if he had predicted her actions. She was of the same sharp beauty, her hair tied up firmly and grey and a few hard lines on her face that pained him. But her eyes, her light blue eyes bore the same intensity they had all those years ago when he had last seen her on the stairs of the Sheffield mansion. After a moment of inspection he noticed that she too was studying him with a barely concealed greed, as if her eyes could not take in enough of him.

"What do you think of the script, Miss Babcock?" he asked steadily.

"I think the author considers himself a martyr and should stop feeling sorry for himself." She replied curtly.

For a split-second his eyes glistened. "What else, Miss Babcock?"he asked, with a deeply calm confidence.

"I think it has potential," she nodded and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"What did you think of the content, Miss Babcock?" he clarified.

At this she shifted uncomfortably, as if he had just asked her a very personal question.

"It was...romantic..." she finally pressed out and he nodded "there was melancholy and yet hope..." He nodded again. "All in all very unrealistic." She finished.

"How so?" he raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Well, you know the whole "she flies to England to find him" deal..."" she shrugged.

"Well, we are in Hollywood." He grinned "Isn't that how it's done here?"

"This is far-fetched even for Hollywood...after all this time...who would...?"

The question hung heavily between them in the air. This time it was him who had to avert his eyes.

"You are a smart woman, Miss Babcock, you figure it out."

"I am, huh?" her laugh was bitter and her fingers absent-mindedly traced the rough edges of the script "The woman in the script does not seem smart to me...not when she..." She swallowed.

He gave her a look of gentle scolding and a subtle shake of the head. He knew she was thinking of them too, all those years apart, everything they had missed. He shook his head again, this time to clear his thoughts, he was with her now in L.A., his plan had worked, and he had got her attention.

"How does it end?" she suddenly asked.

"Mmh?"

"You didn't send in an ending, it isn't finished. She finds him again after all these years and then what?"

He smiled softly.

"Don't look at me like that, answer the question. What happens between them? Will they be together again?"

"What do you think?" he asked, raising one eyebrow as his lips curled upwards into the crooked smile she had missed for so many years.


End file.
